


seven minutes in hell

by defconfuck



Category: Archie Comics & Related Fandoms, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Break Up, F/F, Lesbian Betty Cooper, Misogyny, Multi, OOC Jughead Jones, Pre-Relationship, Season/Series 03, Seven Minutes In Heaven Game, anti bughead sorry about that, comics jughead is a misogynist so i made him one here, dilton/jughead is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defconfuck/pseuds/defconfuck
Summary: When she found herself trapped in the closet with her boyfriend during a lucky game of seven minutes in heaven (Cheryl’s idea), she knew Old Betty would’ve taken the opportunity to spend “quality time” with Jughead, despite their recent fight.New Betty, however, was fuming. Jughead had still been going on about his most recent adventures in Gryphons and Gargoyles, refusing to listen to Betty’s caution about the game. As Jughead rambled about quests and goblins and other absurdly nerdy shit, Betty leaned against the shelf behind her, its ridges digging into her back. She willed herself to take deep breaths.Hating Jughead is normal,she thought.Anybody would hate having to listen to their significant other talk about an interest they don’t share.Another voice in her head chimed in,but you don’t hate when Veronica goes on about her latest fashion obsession or when she recounts the entire plot of some book Betty has never even heard of.
Relationships: Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Veronica Lodge, Dilton Doiley/Jughead Jones
Comments: 7
Kudos: 52





	seven minutes in hell

Betty had always supposed that everyone hates their boyfriend, at least a little bit. Her parents were picture perfect, at least in public. In private, however, they could barely keep their mutual disdain under the surface. Even during the better moments of the Polly/Jason debacle, her sister would rant about Jason driving her crazy, always doing something to piss her off. So for Betty, that's what love was. And some people were just better at keeping their hate close to their chests. 

Betty was good at that. She had plenty of practice, shoving her anger down deep, where it couldn’t hurt anyone. She dug her nails into her palms and plastered a smile, and did her best to be kind, as that’s what her mother always taught her.

But what did her mother know, anyway? She married a serial killer. Maybe it wasn’t in Betty’s best interest to listen to her advice. After that night, when she knocked her father out with a fireplace shovel to the head, a dam broke. She had spent so long trying to be perfect, always take the high road, never get angry, and _never_ lash out at anyone but herself. But what did that get anybody? A set of twins at 17? A father who went around town murdering her classmates? Betty Cooper was done holding it in. 

When she found herself trapped in the closet with her boyfriend during a lucky game of seven minutes in heaven (Cheryl’s idea), she knew Old Betty would’ve taken the opportunity to spend “quality time” with Jughead, despite their recent fight.

New Betty, however, was fuming. Jughead had still been going on about his most recent adventures in Gryphons and Gargoyles, refusing to listen to Betty’s caution about the game. As Jughead rambled about quests and goblins and other absurdly nerdy shit, Betty leaned against the shelf behind her, it’s ridges digging into her back. She willed herself to take deep breaths. _Hating Jughead is normal,_ she thought. _Anybody would hate having to listen to their significant other talk about an interest they don’t share._

Another voice in her head chimed in, _but you don’t hate when Veronica goes on about her latest fashion obsession or when she recounts the entire plot of some book Betty has never even heard of._

_That’s different,_ she reminded herself, _Veronica is not my boyfriend._

Her stomach dropped with such force it made her dizzy, but then again the dizziness might be due to the copious amounts of cologne Jughead was wearing (another thing she hates about him). _Normal people do not hate their boyfriends._ Which, of course, meant that _she is not normal._ Suddenly, she had to know if Jughead felt like she did. 

She cut him off, “Do you ever hate me, Jughead?”

Jughead looked at her, questioningly, surprised that she hadn’t been listening, “What? No. Why would I hate you?”

“Really? Never?” She searched his eyes for any confirmation that he was lying, “I never do _anything_ that just makes you furious?”

Jughead looked taken aback, “Well sometimes you make me mad, but I never hate you. Do you hate me?”

Betty felt a wave of anger wash over her. She hated that he confirmed her fear. She hated that he didn’t hate her back. She hated herself for hating him for when he did nothing wrong. She hated that she didn’t love him. She hated him for making her hate herself. 

She raised her hands in frustration. “Of course I hate you, you don’t listen to me. Like when I was trying to tell you how dangerous that _stupid_ game of yours is!” 

Jughead scoffed, “Gryphons and Gargoyles is not a stupid little game. It’s a complex world building role play experience. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

Betty wanted to throttle him. Of course he would latch on to the most unimportant thing she said. Of course he would condescend to her. She should’ve known better. “What the _fuck_ do you mean by that? Why wouldn’t I understand a fucking _game_?”

“First of all, it's not just a game. It's a reflection of our world! Second of all, you wouldn’t get it because you’re a girl. Men are naturally better at the multitasking and spatial thinking that tabletop roleplay requires! Dilton had showed me this subreddit-”

Betty saw red. Before he could continue, Betty thrust her knee as hard as she could into his crotch. Jughead yelped and doubled over, and while Betty thought she should be feeling at least some compassion for his pain, but all she could feel was a pure sense of satisfaction. 

The rest of the party must’ve heard the commotion, because she almost immediately heard Cheryl’s voice ring out over the din, “It sounds as if things in there have gone past the realm of Barry Jenkins’ Moonlight and instead have ventured straight into the works of Lars Von Trier. If my guests will excuse me it’s time for a little coitus interruptus.” 

The door was wrenched open with a flood of light, and a very surprised looking Cheryl Blossom. “Either you two are into kinkier foreplay than I thought, or I’m witnessing a spectacular lover’s spit.”

Betty was done. Her mother had “loved” someone she hated, and he ended up trying to kill her. Polly and Jason loved and hated each other, and Polly ended up pregnant and Jason ended up dead. 

She grinned at Cheryl. “Neither. In order to have a lovers quarrel, you have to actually be lovers. Which we,” she gestured between herself and a still doubled over Jughead, “are not. At least not anymore.” 

Cheryl stepped out of her way as she stalked out of the closet, ready to leave this awful night behind. She wishes she could say she was shocked by Jughead’s comment, but to be honest, there had been some warning signs. A memory of Jughead, from when they were about twelve, popped into her head. 

Jughead had said to her, ‘I don’t understand why anyone likes women, men have far superior bodies.”

At the time, she had chalked it up to pubescent discomfort with the opposite sex, but looking back, it looked like a red flag. 

Back in the present, Veronica rushed up to Betty’s side, “What happened, oh my god? Is hashtag bughead really over?” 

“I guess.” was all the answer she could muster, since she felt she was buzzing where Veronica had taken her hand in hers. As Veronica continued to press on with her questions, Betty thought, _maybe I could love someone without the hate._

**Author's Note:**

> i actually love jughead but i think he's annoying in a very funny way. in the comics he's known to "hate women" so i kind of ran with that. i was also inspired by how fed up betty is in season 3, i think shes super funny when shes mean.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed my extremely self indulgent fic!


End file.
